HOA Letter

With permission of the author, here is the letter I sent to my Homeowner's Association board of directors. I'm not the greatest at standing up for myself so I have oodles of gratitude for Jared's help in crafting a missive with some backbone. He listened carefully to my retelling of the event and my feelings about the whole thing and then put together a marvelous couple of paragraphs that get my main points across very strongly. The sharpest jabs are somehow delivered in a very polite but straightforward way. I think Miss Manners would be proud. I feel well taken care of :-)

Greetings Board Members,

     I had the misfortune of meeting one of your representatives on Saturday, September 12th, and I would like to express my extreme displeasure with that encounter. While resting in my home that afternoon, I was treated to a barrage of door-pounding and bell-ringing that would make a SWAT team blush, although I was a bit dismayed to see that instead of uniformed officers serving me a search warrant, I was greeted by a member of your yard police. The gentleman’s name escapes me, although his unflattering demeanor and browbeating was quite memorable. I am new to this neighborhood, and while I had hoped that my first encounter with the HOA would have been a welcoming one, I was instead treated to threats of an official rebuke and made aware that my neighbors had been complaining about the overall appearance of my front yard. Board members, whose residency in this neighborhood precedes my own, know full well that the previous occupant had littered this yard with foliage, and as such, the cost of upgrading it is substantial.

     The shrubs, ivy and tree limbs have since been cut back to meet the standards set forth in the CC&R's, which should satisfy my disgruntled neighbors, as well as the man whose name is too inconsequential to remember. Given the tenor of my first encounter with your authority, I am requesting that ANY future contact with me be limited to mail correspondence, as I have no further desire to be disturbed in my home. That said, let me take this opportunity to introduce myself to those of you who thought it unnecessary to welcome me to the neighborhood: I’m Jennifer Howard, and thanks in advance for your adherence to my above request.

     Regards,

     Jennifer Howard